Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
