OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
