it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
