Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
