someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize