I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
