my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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