the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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