I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
