he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize