just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
