This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
