I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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