All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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