if only i could text you this smell
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Someone came in the potted fern
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize