Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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