Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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