Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
