Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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