Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
