I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
