I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
