she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
