My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
