and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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