You can't motorboat a personality
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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