so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
