maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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