he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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