Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
