i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
