I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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