You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize