Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
