so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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