when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
