I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
