We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
