Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am puke
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
