Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
