she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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