I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
