so that wasnt chicken after all
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
