I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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