is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm jealous of your bromance
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
