I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
