I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
