In the future we'll all be gay
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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