she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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