Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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