I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
