She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
