Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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