I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Girls should come with a carfax report
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
