I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well I just put wine in my tea
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
