The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
