The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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