So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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