I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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