turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
